Alchemy or Avoidance

The toxic positivity trend has a lot to answer for. People are mistaking themselves as 'healed' or 'healing' because they are avoiding 'negativity'. The problem is that most people are unable to differentiate between negativity and necessary confrontation of themselves, others and situations that require resolution. If you are unable to be confronted or confront your own flaws and mistakes, your are not healing, you are avoiding. True healing requires the ability to use discernment and honest analysis of each situation and all of its black, white and grey areas. You need to be able to embrace the times when you fuck up as much as you embrace the times you do a spiritual practice. In the end, they both hold the same value in contributing to growth.

Instagram is flooded with inspirational quotes written by people that have no business providing advice, and the readers are lapping it up. I strongly believe that therapy needs to be a big part of many peoples spiritual paths. Learning how to communicate and resolve conflict, building social skills and personal responsibility are the most important parts of self-growth. Healing modalities are valuable and important too, for nervous system healing, grounding into the body and tapping into trauma and trapped emotions. But, the second should not completely replace the first because you risk bypassing all of the real work. This kind of shadow work is required to build a sustainable foundation to manage every aspect of the human experience.

True alchemy is when you can turn your mud into magic. When you can be confronted with your own shit, and say "yes, that's me" and embrace it, but, also make the effort to work on it moving forward. Taking advice from social media is very messy and dangerous for people that don't have the capacity to use their discernment. An example of this being 'cut negativity out of your life'. So someone who is desperately seeking healing, will then dispose of relationships without developing the skills to resolve the conflict. As a result, healing doesn't occur but avoidance does. The person writing the Instagram post does not cover the grey areas, and it becomes a band-aid for the person that feels like they need to hear their advice to validate themselves. The conflicts that arise in your relationships can be one of your greatest teachers, and, if you have the courage to dive into them they can encourage stronger connections.