The Goddess Complex

Let me start by saying that I don’t have a problem with women referring to themselves as goddesses. What irks me, is the projected idea of what a goddess looks like, being forced on women by other people. This is another very obvious spiritual bypass, and a very patriarchal one at that.  It's the modern day, 'spiritual' way of telling women that they need to look or behave a certain way to be acceptable. I have experienced many examples of this in recent years from the sacred feminine, linen clad gang, but I will be referring to two prime examples. The first happened at Lake Atitlan, of course. I saw a poster for some kind of women's circle or sacred feminine event which instructed you to come dressed "goddess like". That's bad enough, but, then it was followed by a description of what that should look like. The suggestion was something along the lines of linen, floaty dresses and probably pixie ears or something. I looked down at my oversized Metallica t-shirt and ill-fitting jeans and wondered what they would make of me. The truth is, a real goddess doesn’t need to be told what to wear, and so I immediately knew this was not the kind of event that would be healthy for me.

Much more recently there was an incident in a local group chat where a woman was standing up for herself and communicating a situation that was upsetting for her, very goddess-like, right? Apparently not. Someone entered the chat and made a sweeping statement about how many women in the town were not acting like goddesses, but were in fact acting like "queens and princesses" Her definition was: Princesses - need. Queens - demand. Goddesses - just exist. The person making this statement was female. When a few women, including myself, defended that statement we were quite-obviously gaslit and again demeaned for using our voices, because, "goddesses just exist" i.e. keep your mouth shut, never complain, your voice isn't important and don't be too difficult. Back in the day, it would be men telling us how to behave. In 2024, these messages are being passed on to us by women who have learned new ways to please the patriarchy.

Women that are still dressing to please men, even though they may not see it.

Women that are still trying to make themselves more palatable to men.

Women that are still holding their feelings inside and are uncomfortable when other women express what they deem to be negative feelings.

Maybe they aren't staying at home and making sandwiches for their husbands any more, but, they are still muting themselves in many other ways to be perceived as easy going and tolerable. All of these messages being passed on from this community are equally damaging as the toxicity that women dealt with in the past. We are still being told "you need to be this way" just under a different guise and some of these women are actually making money from this. The truth is, for any real emotional, mental or spiritual progress to be made, women need to be able to express themselves. We need to have space held for us in all the moments, not just the good ones. How can women live in the light, if they are not allowed to process the dark. How can women learn to defend themselves against abusers and predators, if they are not allowed to speak up for themselves in 'safe spaces'.

If you want to claim yourself to be a goddess, sacred feminine, healer… whatever… just LET WOMEN BE.